Joseph had a lot of time to sit and stew about what his brothers
had done to him. Remember last week's story where his jealous brothers threw
him down into a pit and then pulled him out only to sell him into slavery? Well
his life didn’t get any quieter or simpler from that moment on. True, there
were no more brother’s to harass him but there was no doting father either,
at least not an earthly one. He was trul;y on his own, with just his wits to
survive , or so he thought. The story is full of twists and turns, probably
like most of our life stories if we chose to write them with all the good and
bad included. The nomad caravan that buys Joseph from his brothers sells him
into slavery in the house of Potiphar, who is the captain of the Egyptian Pharoahs
guard. Potiphars wife tries to seduce Joseph, but when he spurns her advances,
she falsely accuses him and he is thrown into prison. Joseph, you will remember
has been given a special gift by God to understand dreams. This ability eventually
attracts the attention of Pharoah who has been having some very disturbing dreams.
Joseph is able to help him understand that his dream of seven fat cows and seven
lean cows is really a warning that there will be seven years of abundance and
then seven years of drought and famine. If this is to be the future then Pharoah
wants Joseph to be the man in charge of storing up food during the years of
plenty so there will be food during the years of want.
Now this famine that plagues Egypt has also hit
the land of Canaan, the home of the families and tribes of Joseph’s brothers.
Ten of those brother’s fearing starvation make their way to Egypt to buy
from Pharaoh food to keep them alive. Of course they have no idea that the one
who meets them , who is charge of Pharoah’s storehouses is their very own
brother.
Joseph has had a lot of time to think about what his brother’s did to him.
We can well imagine that he harbored some feelings of ill will against them.
We can imagine the battle of feelings that is going on inside him. Joseph plays
it cagey. He doesn’t immediately identify himself to them. He supplies
them with grain but through tricks on their two visits he tests their character.
He forces them to bring his brother Benjamin back with them and then frames
him for the theft of a silver cup. Benjamin is to stay with him. Judah, knowing
that the loss of his remaining son of Rachel will kill his father Jacob, offers
himself in Benjamin’s stead. It is at this point that our lesson for today
begins. With Joseph finally sorting through his emotions enough to admit his
identity. So what we have here today is a beautiful story of the power of reconciliation
winning over revenge. Sobbing, Joseph identifies himself to his brothers. The
brother’s are consumed by guilt before him but Joseph reassures them, “do
not be distressed or angry with yourselves, because you sold me here; for God
sent me before you to preserve life.”
Joseph is able, with a stunning declaration of forgiveness, to let go of his
anger and hate and to see his life as a piece with the work of God.
How can he do that? The answer to that question
is not insignificant to us for we are often challenged to forgive that which
we find distinctly unforgiveable. Hurt, betrayal, anger all battle within us
at times. They are powerful emotions that are not easily assuaged. How does
Joseph settle that battle within himself? Why does he opt to forgive? After
all he has the upper hand, he is in the position of power in this relationship.
Superficially at least, there is nothing to be gained from offering forgiveness.
Joseph’s options are many. He could “make them pay” with stern
vengeance. He could give them food and let them slink away never knowing they
had met their brother. Why did he opt for forgiveness?
I think there are four things at work here that
motivate Joseph to his course of action.
First, reconciliation occurs only when the pain
of estrangement outweighs the pleasure of revenge. Very often in estrangement
we can ignore or set aside any feeling we have had for those who have wronged
us. Out of sight out of mind as the saying goes. Until his brother’s came
knocking on his door he didn’t even know he missed them. But there they
were. Perhaps he saw something in the curve of Reuben’s chin that reminded
him of his father. Perhaps he longed for the taste of Canaanite cooking and
to join in their laughter as they gathered around the fire. Perhaps he ached
to share a memory of his mother with his brother Benjamin. Perhaps before their
relationship went so foul there were moments of joy and goodness. Perhaps there
was a moment in the estrangement when revenge loosened its grip on his heart
and the pain of separation rushed in to fill the void. That moment may be brief,
it may be rare, but when it comes the opportunity for reconciliation is made
possible.
For Oscar Amundsen in Elko Mn. that opportunity
came when he realized death was very near. Suffering from cancer he had his
wife call his brother. When I was on internship in Lakeville Minn. There was
a man, a farmer. Oscar Amundsen was his name I think. He had not spoken to his
brother in fifty years. They had had a falling out over the dispersal of the
estate of his father. The estate was the family farm. I don’t know all
the details, they’re not really important anyway—but Oskar had been
been farming on that plot all his life. Now he was on his death bed and he asked
his wife to contact his brother. Surprisingly enough the brother came. They
talked and parted friends.
Our second piece to understanding this reconciliation puzzle is, Reconciliation
occurs only when the pull of love is stronger than the push of indifference.
Joseph asks, “Is my father still alive?” The antithesis of love is
not hate, it is indifference. Reconciliation does not take place when one does
not care—either for right relationships or for the alienated party. Indifference
hardens the arteries of compassion and will eventually lead to heart failure.
Love is ultimately stronger than indifference but love will not enter the system
without being invited. If love is to lead to reconciliation then we must make
room in our hearts for love to do its work.
Rick Reilly’s column in Sports Illustrated
this week was about John Elway, you remember the winningest quarterback in NFL
history who retired in 1999. Reilly chronicles the roller coaster of Elway’s
life since retirement—several failed business ventures, the death of his
father, his wife of 18 years leaving him and taking the four children with her
and the death of his twin sister. “When you’re a quarterback you’re
in control. Says Elway “At some point it hits you, that this fairy tale
life you’ve been leading is not real. You can’t control everybody
and everything. So he starts to change. He goes to Janet’s rented house
and pulls weeds in her garden when she isn’t there. He goes to the mall
with her. He sends her roses every week and starts hanging out with his kids.
“Sometimes you think you have to be a god when all you really need is to
be human.” “I’m going to put my family first from now on,”
he says. “That’s not easy when the world has put you first your whole
life.” Within a month the family is back together. Love makes room for
reconciliation.
A third thing that clearly helped Joseph comes to terms with his brothers was to see their misdeeds as a part of a larger canvass. There is no question that it is extraordinarily difficult to look beyond the boundaries of our individual injury to recognize the power of God’s transformitaive powers, But to be able to see that injury as part of a whole, a piece of an action allows us to reframe a perspective in which reconciliation can occur.
Initially he was very angry that he had been laid
off. He had always said the new management didn’t know what they were doing
and would be terrible to work for. He had given a lot to the company, he had
worked hard. The anger commingled with feelings of betrayal and hurt and self
doubt. A year later he would say, not that this job loss was the best thing
that ever happened to him, but that it certainly wasn’t the worst. The
new job is wonderful. It’s been a lot of years since he’s enjoyed
going to work. The new field, the new challenges are exciting. Perhaps this
set back was part of a better whole.
Finally, reconciliation occurs only when silence
gives way to conversation. Our text says rather briefly “And after that
his brothers talked with him.” Often in the initial shock waves of estrangement
meaningful conversation is impossible. Yet it is a law of physics that shock
waves lose their potency the further away from the epicenter they move. It is
equally true that in the laws of reconciliation the further one moves from the
initial hurt the less potent the waves of retribution, unless of course no one
is at work re emitting the waves of hurt by constantly revisiting the wound.
But if one allows the natural dissapation to occur then space is provided for
the deafening silence to give way to the music of reconciliation.
When I looked up stories of reconciliation on
the computer probably half the references were to very special stories from
world war two. The fortieth and then the fiftieth anniversary of many battles
gave opportunity for participants from both sides to come together, to talk,
to share memories and to forgive
Joseph’s story is an ancient one. But in many ways it is our story as well,
for it is a story of life, of human failure and of forgiveness.
Amen.